Family Tree

Feast of the Holy Family – Cycle B

Sir 3:2-6, 12-14 Psalm Ps 128:1-2, 3, 4-5 Col 3:12-21 or 3:12-17 Lk 2:22-40

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family, and I wanted to share with you this idea that the family is a tree that starts out as a seed, and when watered by the love of God grows into the a beautiful and peaceful community of love.

I married my Sister..?
This past summer I went to California and married my Sister

[[PAUSE]]

Ok, that sounds very wrong. Let me be a little more precise. This past summer I had the great joy of officiating the wedding vows when my brother-in-law John married my Sister in California.

Marriage – the Seed of Love
Weddings are a time of incredible joy – because it is the birth of a new family. Part of the reason why we celebrate Marriage with weddings is because married love calls us to commitment, to faithfulness to one another for the rest of our lives. This is the principle difference between marriage and co-habitation, in marriage we go before God, the Church, and the whole world to publicly and freely declare are total commitment to love one another for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. The consequence is that family is born out of that commitment to love. There is intensity in that love, it is like a flare, that burns hot, bright and nothing can quench – not even the sea. Another way of describing this love is that it is like a seed – it is packed with all of the blessings, and struggles that lie ahead for that couple, all that is necessary for a good and holy life. Marriage is a seed that is packed into an intense little bundle, just waiting to get out.

Riding a Bike
Entering into the sacrament of marriage is like learning to ride a bike. We can watch movies about it, we can read books about it, we can watch other people live it out, but until we say I do, we have no clue what marriage is really like. I remember the day when I married my wife Tina, I remember standing at the altar, and watching her come up the aisle towards me. I had no clue what I was getting into, but it did not matter, because I knew that this was a vocation that God had called us to, and that He would be the one to back us up.

Relationship is the focus of the readings
The focus of our readings today is on relationship. The birth of Christ reveals to us that God is all about relationship. It is the relationship of love between the Father and the Son with the Holy Spirit that we are invited by Christ to share in. In the first reading from Sirach, we learn of how husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters are to relate to one another. God is helping us to understand a right relationship with our families in order to prepare us to be in relationship with Him for all eternity.

Ribs Sunday
One of my brother Deacons refers to this Sunday as “Ribs Sunday” – because when we get to the part of St. Paul’s letter where he says “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.” Some husbands will often nudge their wives in the ribs and give a “knowing” look. This is followed a few moments later by a responding dig in when the next verse is read – “Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.” How do these attitudes towards relationship help us to grow in love for one another?

Wives be subordinate to your husbands
Let’s start with the wives part, When St. Paul says “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.” He is expressing an idea of mutual love that is more clearly stated in his letter to Ephesians, where he says that “husbands and wives are to submit to one another as unto the Lord”. This is a difficult scripture for us to hear today, so I think that we need to struggle with it in an honest way. All too often this scripture has been used to justify some truly destructive behavior and situations. St. Paul is not trying to relegate women to a second-class status, or to justify remaining in abusive situations, but rather it is an expression of trust in our relationship of love that is backed up by Christ. When we freely submit ourselves to Christ’s love we can be confident that He will care for us because He has our best interests at heart.

Husband’s love your wives…
Now let’s move on to the husband’s role. St. Paul says to us “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ Loved the Church” – How did Christ show his love for the Church?

[[PAUSE – POINT TO THE CROSS AND SAY WITH EMPHASIS]]

He died for her!

[[PAUSE]]

Brothers – let us love our wives!
Brothers – let us remember our commitment to be good husbands to our wives – to give up our lives for our families. This is not an easy challenge because it calls us to conversion, to change our ways. Take a moment to think about the actions or habits that we have that are sucking the love out of our marriages. What habits of sin do we allow to rob our marriages and families of life?

[[PAUSE]]

We have been entrusted with the sacred duty to guarding our families from the evil that kills them. We are called to sacrifice, as Christ sacrificed, to bring about abundant life for our families.


Husband and Wife Homework
I want to invite all of the husbands and wives here today to reflect on these passages from Colossians as an examination of conscience for our marriages. Honestly share with one another where our relationships are filled with “heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body.” Let us give thanks to God for the areas where we do these things, and work towards changing those areas of our marriages where we fail.

The Love of Christ is Water and Light…
The Sacrament of Marriage puts into right-relationship the love of husband and wife. When we enter into the Sacrament of Marriage, we root ourselves in the love of Christ, we ask Him to be the guarantor of our vows. In marriage, we invite Christ into our relationship of love, so that we can learn from Him who is the creator of all love. When Christ walks with us He strengthens and purifies our love for one another. The love of Christ is like water and light to the seed, it causes the seed to germinate and grow.

Children are a Blessing from God
Another one of those “riding your bike” moments found in family life is the blessing of children. The Jews always considered children to be a blessing from God. We see this in Sirach when he says “Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children”. Again, in the Gospel a few weeks back we heard of how God blessed St. Elizabeth in her old age when she conceived John the Baptist, and again, God blessed Abraham and Sarah with children when they conceived Isaac. If we go all the way back to Adam and Eve, we see the original intention of marriage, that “the two should become one flesh”, and that God “blessed them and said – be fertile and multiply”.

From Seed to Sapling - Children
Children bless our marriage, because they transform our lives from being this focused seed of intense love into a sapling. Watered and fed by the light of Christ marriage blossoms and grows. In this way married love reflects the creative love of God. Our love overflows and must be shared with children. Children bless us because they call us to a new level of love, to sacrificial love. Think back to those first moments that you shared with your children, as your mind wrestled with the idea that God has entrusted this soul into your care.

Contraception destroys the love of marriage
As a culture, we find it more and more difficult to identify with this idea that children are a blessing from God. One of the reasons why is the prevalence of contraception in our society. Our culture teaches that if we don’t practice contraception then we are irresponsible and foolish. Our Church teaches that when we do practice contraception we are sinning against the 6th commandment because we are rejecting God’s blessing by intentionally destroying His gift of fertility.

[[PAUSE]]

Children become a burden
When we loose sight of the fact that children are a blessing from God they become a burden, an inconvenience, a trophy of accomplishment, or a commodity that we can buy and sell at the fertility clinic when we want.

[[PAUSE]]

From Sapling to Tree to a Forest
As our family tree grows up, it matures from a sapling into a tree. That creative love that began as a little seed of love between husband and wife grows to be open to children and to life. When our children become adults they fall in love and our family grows yet again, as we welcome into our marriage in-laws and then best of all grandchildren. Eventually, if we allow God to work in our lives the tiny seed of love that we began with all those many years ago will grow into an entire forest of trees, each with its own special gifts and hidden treasures. The question is – are we willing to let God order our family relationships so that our families can become Holy Families?

Building the civilization of love, Slaying Dragons

Eleventh Sunday of Ordinary Time Cycle A

Ex 19:2-6a Psalm Ps 100:1-2, 3, 5 Rom 5:6-11 Mt 9:36—10:8

Authority over unclean spirits

In the Gospel today we hear about how Jesus gave the disciples authority over unclean spirits, to drive them out and to cure every illness.

Authority of Fathers

Today, in our country we will celebrate another group of men to whom God has given authority – they are Fathers – men who by the grace of God have a profound authority in the life of their children, Today I would like to reflect on the role of the Father.

[[GO AND GET THE TOOL BENCH]]

[[GO AND GET SOME BLUEPRINTS]]

Fathers are fundamental in Gods plan

I have brought a few things with me today to help us reflect on Fatherhood – the first of which is a plan. In today’s Gospel we see that Jesus had a plan for communicating the Gospel to the world, a plan that was carried out by the disciples. Before Christ called his disciples to carry out His plan, God the Father had a more profound plan, to show the world his love through Fathers.

[[UNROLL THE PLANS ON THE TABLE]].

Fathers are universal – everyone has one

Fathers play a fundamental role in everyone’s life. None of us are here without a father. Fathers reflect God the Fathers role in creation – Fathers create life outside of themselves out o live.

[[GET SOME WOOD AND SCREWS AND SCREW GUN]]

Fathers form the primordial lens that we look through to see God the Father.

In a profound way, Father’s form within their children the primordial image of who God the Father is. No one can think about God without seeing God through the image of their own Father. This means that everything we dad’s do has relevance and importance. As children we grow up looking at how our Father did things. This becomes for us a standard and a goal. Some of us have excellent standards, which are like a good ruler

[[TAKE UP A RULER AND START MEASURING OUT THE WOOD]]

No Father to measure myself against

while others have poor examples, or non-existent examples. One of my dear friends had his Father murdered when he was 12 years old. One day while we were talking about being Dad’s, he shared that losing his Dad at that age had a profound effect on him, and in a certain sense made him rely more on the example of God the Father in his own Fatherhood. Being a good father means we establish within our children a good standard, a measure of what it means to be a Dad, a clear lens through which our children will see God the Father.

Spend some time cooperating with God the Father

Given the profound role we play in God’s plan for all people. Dad’s need to spend some time today thinking about how we are cooperating with God’s plan.

What ways do we cooperate with His plan for our children?

[[CALL OVER ONE OF THE ALTAR SERVERS TO HELP]].

Father’s Teach their children

Another role that Father’s play in the lives of their children is to teach them. Father’s teach by doing. [[GET SOME WOOD AND HOLD IT ON THE TABLE]]. Our children watch our actions closely, and they learn from our actions. As Father’s we share in the mission of the disciples. We do this by establishing a family that is founded on love, the love that we show to our wives. Pope John Paul II described the family as the Domestic Church –

• the place where children are schooled in what it means to love,
• what it means to care,
• what it means to pray and
• what it means to sacrifice for one another.
  

[[START SCREWING SOME WOOD TOGETHER]]

What are the lessons that we are teaching?

Are our families places of love and peace, places where God is found? What lessons are we Fathers teaching our children? The readings today call us to examine ourselves in our vocation.

[[OOPS]]

Oops – Time to correct our mistakes

We might see things that we are ashamed of – if we do, then rejoice – not in our shame, but in the opportunity to change, to start anew and to correct the mistakes of the past.

[[UNSCREW THE WOOD AND CORRECT THE PROBLEM]]

Fathers teach prayer – Fathers Bless

Because Fathers are in God’s primordial plan on how people get to know Him, all Fathers have a special role in teaching their children about God. We do this when we gather our families for prayer, when we pray with our wives, we set the tone at family celebrations and gatherings. Today is a day for Fathers to begin anew to teach about God, in our actions, words and deeds.

We learn from scriptures that Fathers are called to Bless their children like God blesses us. Never pass up an opportunity to bless your children. This is a special role that both Mothers and Fathers share. Even when they are teen-agers sneak into their rooms in the middle of the night and bless your children, on the forehead the Father, and Son and Holy Spirit. When your children gather with you today, take this opportunity to give them your blessing. Never loose sight of your vocation to bless your children.

Fathers are not teaching the faith in the Church today

As a church we struggle with this. The Dad’s who have come here today might want to seriously consider helping out in teaching Catechism this next year. If you find yourself wondering about your faith – teaching it is a sure-fire way to learn. 90% of our teachers here are women. We are extremely grateful for their ministry, but the truth is, that our children are learning an incomplete view of the faith. We need Father’s to step up to the plate, and to teach the faith in the Church as well as at the home.

[[FINISH THE CROSS AND BEGIN TO PUT AWAY THE TOOLS]]

Fathers are Dragon Slayers

I have an Icon in my prayer book. It is the smallest of all Icon’s, just the size of a business card. It is an Icon of St. George – who was famous for slaying the dragon. Everyone has heard of the story of George and the Dragon. Often, when I get up and pray in the morning, I am reminded by that Icon of my vocation as a Father, and as a Dragon Slayer.

The Dragon we slay is that of Sin

In Iconography, the Dragon represents Sin, evil. The dragon that St. George slew was of sin in his life. All Fathers have been given authority to guard and protect their family from all evil. When we decide that it is time to go about slaying dragons we need to start at home, not with our wife, or our kids, but with ourselves. The first dragons we need to confront are the sins in our own lives that take us away from God, that invite Satan into our lives, and into our homes.

Dragon Slaying takes courage

Dragon Slaying is hard work, it starts with prayer and humility – confession – asking God for forgiveness, going to our spiritual Father and asking for the blessing of almighty God, and the healing grace that Jesus poured out for us on the Cross. [[HOLD UP THE CROSS]]. This takes true courage – but remember, it is ok because your children are watching, and they are learning from you by your actions.

What are the Dragons that attack us?

Many Fathers in the world today struggle against mighty dragons. This is where we call upon the grace of the Holy Spirit – of Perseverance. Get up and try again. I know that many of us here suffer from alcoholism, drug addiction, pornography, indifference or anger. Take the opportunity this week to avail yourself of the disciples witness to drive out unclean spirits – be healed and become stronger in your relationship with God. When Father’s choose to do this; their families are transformed into places of love, peace and joy.

What is a Father?

A Father is a man who cooperates with God to create new life – his children. He provides for his family an environment that is safe from the forces of evil. His life reflects the love of God. A Father is the primordial lens through which his children come to know God. The witness of our love for our families is in the way we sacrifice to bring about the best possible things for our children. Let us spend this day celebrating the love of our fathers, and reflecting on the sacrifice of our heavenly Father.

[[GIVE THE CROSS TO THE SERVER, PUT AWAY THE TOOLS AND THE BENCH]]